sitting there, listening to him speak about his amazing travels and how he wished he should have taken the job down south instead of staying here. there it is again, there just is no sugarcoating anything with him. practical, and realistic. to him, love doesn’t mean expressing it vividly in public or telling you that all he ever wants to do is to be with you. because he doesn’t, and there are things to be done, places to be seen. to him, it’s all about how you fit around him, not the other way around. if it is inconvenient for him, he won’t do it. love to him is encouragement and support, and just knowing the other person is there.
i used to be like that. that was how i was brought up- the most meaningful relationship is the one where you don’t spend your time thinking about them every single second of your life, but just knowing and trusting the relationship itself. i used to share his views on a relationship- i don’t know why it’s changed. to me now, if you can’t stop telling yourself they’re amazing and how lucky you are everyday to be with them, you aren’t in love. so what’s the difference between loving someone, and being in love with someone?
being in love leads to loving. but that shouldn’t mean that you stop being in love with them. it’s like an infinite grey area, and the ‘in’ makes or breaks the definition. doesn’t that make sense? it should. is it possible to love someone and NOT be in love with them? it is.
you love your family. are you in love with them? no…not in this context. your love for them is strong as ever and you would do anything for them- but you are not romantically linked to them. that is how it feels when you love someone without being in love with them.
now the question to ask yourself is: are you in love with them, or simply just love them?