We’re just friends, goddamn it.

How do we define friends?

I have a friend. I am a female and he is a male. We haven’t been friends for too too long, only a couple months. But conversation came easy- we joked and laughed and made fun of each other without hard feelings. It was a good friendship. There was no physicality in this friendship- no touching, no physical flirting. But still, people believed something was happening between us- and I have a boyfriend.

How do we define friendliness? How does being nice to somebody equate to you having feelings for them? How do people jump to the conclusion about two people who are really, simply, just friends? Can two members of the opposite sex not be friends? Is sexual attraction so strong in the human nature that friendship is nothing more than our innate sense of reproduction ??

Friendship happens when two people care for the others company. If there was nothing in common or nothing you like about that person enough for you to hang out with, friendship would not exist. This happens for any combination of the sexes. Humans cannot live long alone. They need company. And a person who is just like you is good company because you can be yourself with them, and they are comfortable to be around. It’s like hanging out with yourself only, an actual conversation can happen. It does not mean you have to have any romantic feelings for them. Sure it is a great teaser, let’s be serious.. But in all honesty, it shouldn’t be something to joke about. Feelings change- maybe what was once a good friendship can be destroyed by rumors.

Friendship COULD lead to relationship but it is not inevitable. We may laugh and have a great time but at the end of the day our hearts know who we will be with and who we want to be with.

Don’t let other people ruin your friendships. They are a beautiful thing and friends are what keeps us strong when there is a need for a hug, a laugh, or celebration for the good times.

the seven deadly sins in a relationship

Gluttony: the urge to keep chewing off more than you can swallow. The urge to ask for more when it was more than enough. The urge to push their limits in order to go past satisfied. You want their lives. You’re eating their lives, their personal space, their own time to work on themselves.

Lust: you crave their touch and how they make you feel so damn good. The way their fingers trace you and how soft or hard their kisses are. You want the feeling of letting yourself go completely and to feel that orgasmic sense of relief and goodness that you can’t feel anywhere else in your life. You want it dirty because everything else in your life is so organized and restrained- lust is your way out. And sometimes it is not even personal. Just an outlet.

Pride: they work at a prestigious workplace. You don’t. And it hurts you, to think that without an equally prestigious job, you have no chance in making this relationship work. Afterall, who would want to be with someone who isn’t even up to your standards? You know they take pride. You just can’t match it. You bury yourself with thoughts of an imminent societal conflict. And if there really is no way out.. It’s their pride and joy.

Envy: they have pictures of their exes but not with you. Their best friends are of the opposite sex. They have an easy going family who adapted to society. Their dog. Their happiness. Their success, and you in the dust forever wanting to catch up. But with a continent distance between you two.

Wrath: they broke your heart. They insulted you. They won the argument. They made references to their exes. They chose something else over you. And it gets trapped right beneath your ribcage, that hard thumping monster that wants to claw it’s way out of your heart. Anger and jealousy and extreme masochistic thoughts. And you let it out physically or let it in mentally.

Sloth: knowing they want you to drop the habit and pick up the other. But there is no other motivation. Knowing it is the better thing to do but it breaks your tradition and frankly, your routine. But it always gets postponed and it always hangs in the background forever on snooze.

Greed: You want them to give you even more, go beyond what is already amazing- just to see if there is anything more to collect. A little bit more love can’t hurt.

Some Days

When the rain falls, and there’s actually, literally, nothing to do. When nothing in the world seems to go right for you and everything impossibly ridiculous gets thrown in your face, when so much hatred builds up in your heart and gets bottled up inside you with nowhere to go. Some days it gets like this. When you realize that other people have the kind of happiness you want, and that you’ll never get that happiness. When you need comfort and all you do is put on your best IDGAF face and carry on. Nobody knows. You don’t particularly want anyone to know. You just feel like shit. You get shit you don’t even deserve. Somehow, buying $5 casual sunglasses turns into a lecture of how they’re a waste of money because they don’t protect your eyes. How spending money on a 3 day vacation turns into a lecture on saving money instead of spending it when you grow up otherwise you’ll become a fucking hobo. How wanting to get away from this hellhole turns into silence when you realize the moment you ask to get away, the answer is no anyways.

Some days are just like this. And today’s just one of those days.