You were shy when you were young. You were outgoing when you were only 4. You were picky with your foods, you hated swimming when you nearly had a drowning experience. But now you’re outgoing, making friends, more polite, more reserved, swimming, and eating everything off your plate.
No, you didn’t change. You only managed yourself in different situations.
People don’t change at their core. The only thing that changes is how they present themselves in public. The front for other people. Their face for their partner.
People don’t change who they are just because they act differently from before. Everything is just management. Everything is just learned from experience. This is what you should do in this environment.
You’ll never change who you really are. The question is who are you?
It happens. The extreme butterflies that you feel when you begin a new relationship, a new bond forging. The way your heart quickens at the sight and even hearing their name. They way they’re the first and last thing on your mind when you wake up and go to sleep every day. You can’t stop thinking about them, literally. Everything you do reminds you of them, and how you wish they were with you.
The relationship ensues. Happiness ensues. But to what ends? Fights start to occur. Differences start to appear. Values start to become clear, and this relationship, where you once thought is going to last forever, breaks apart into little pieces because one side just can’t handle it anymore.
A common explanation is “My feelings aren’t as strong anymore.”
Why? Why do feelings have to be such fleeting things? Nobody means to hurt anyone yet, it happens. Why is the heart such a fickle thing? How on earth can we claim that we love someone then? Why do feelings grow stronger or grow weaker? Is there a way to manipulate someone’s feelings so that they never stop loving you? How is that normal, how is that natural? Everyone talks about ‘the game’. But playing the game only has one purpose: to string the person out until they cave without letting them know exactly how strong you feel about them. Why must we do this to ourselves? Why do we play this damn game?
We crave something new. Fresh experiences. New feelings. It’s in our nature to love. But it’s also in our nature to keep finding someone else once we become comfortable. And there’s the rub- they just became too comfortable with you. There’s no more excitement for them, no thrill of the chase, just stability. And what’s a relationship without chaos, without drama? So they fall out of love. Slowly, unknowingly.. until it hits you. Both.