Sometimes my subconscious needs to suffer too

I pulled into my driveway, and saw Tifa. She was as cute as ever and as I got out of the car….whose car was it… I called to the dog. She yawned, and suddenly he calls out to her. She leaps towards him. Like she always did in reality.

His mother came out of nowhere. She extends her arms and gives me a hug. How are you, she asked. I said Okay, shakily. She gave a prim smile.

Next thing I knew, we were all inside my house. I went upstairs to change but I heard him follow behind me. I went into my room. He followed me in. My clothes were strewn everywhere, but he didn’t even talk to me and went straight to my full length mirror as if I didn’t exist. He was looking at himself. Then he left, without another word. He started to go back downstairs. I remember my body walking on its own.

“Stephen,” I called down.

“What?” He responded, half turning his head. It was the first time he acknowledged me in the dream. 

I felt angry. I felt an immense wave of sadness. But for some reason, I didn’t respond after that, and hid behind the closet door away from the view of the staircase. I heard the floorboards creak under his weight slightly, as if he was looking for me. Then it creaked, signifying he walked away. I slowly walked back out, starting to feel a heaviness in my chest. It must have made a sound because suddenly, he walked back out and made his way upstairs. I quickly went back into my room.

He came in, and I had my back turned to him.

Then I felt his arms around me. He was hugging me.

We exchanged a couple sentences, and then I imploded.

My knees found their way to the ground and I curled over, unable to take the pain, the crushing pain in my chest as I began to cry wildly. I cried until I needed to take a breath, and felt my body shuddering with my sharp gasps for air. His arms were still around me, and he never let go.

Until I woke up.

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