The Exes That Try To Be Friends

I think I’ve posted something along the lines of ‘can exes every be friends’ and I think, my conclusion came to a no. Everybody knows that. But, is there a slight possibility that against all odds amongst the heart breaking, the anger and frustration and the guilt that it’s still possible to be just friends? Friends who care about each other without yearning to be in a relationship, friends who accept they have history, accept they loved each other but just knows they can’t be together?

Well, I’m sort of in this rut. From the devoted (and maybe overly doting) girlfriend, back to my original, normal, tomboy sweats-allday-errday getup self. Now that I think about it, it’s quite terrifying to see how I had been pushed deeply to my feminine side when I was dating. Not that it’s a bad thing- I now have a great appreciation for sexy dressy outfits and shoes. (AREN’T YOU SO PROUD OF ME?) The man who dumped me though, I feel, has never experienced the wrath of a truly unforgiving woman. Which luckily, I am not. In fact, some people say I’m too forgiving and I’m being taken advantage of. Truth be told, that’s how I find it easier to remain friends with him.

Does this friendship work? Well, I know I still have feelings for him. But I also know I’ll never, ever get back together with him, as much as my heart wants to. This time, my brain is telling me that he isn’t worth it. Third time is NOT the charm with these things. There is no way someone has so little self respect that they let themselves fall for the same person 3 times. I at least respect myself enough not to let it happen. So when we talk, it’s fine. No, seriously. It’s pretty nonchalant. I treat him like I do my other male friends. I don’t seek him out actively. When things remind me of him, I smile, remembering, but I never let it make me sad. Although, I would not, again, actively seek out things that remind me of him. Funny thing was, he texted me today, and I told him I missed his super adorable dog, to which he replied saying how I can visit her (at his house mind you) whenever I wanted.

Um. Let’s rewind a bit. That’s a little insensitive, no?

I mean, I’m cool with being friends. But to push it isn’t cool. Is that an invitation to his house? He’s inviting me, the girl he broke up with, back to his house to see his dog. Let’s just leave it at that.

I think the real answer to this topic is it definitely relies on the breakup-ee. This person, assuming having done nothing wrong to cause the breakup, gains all the power they lost when they got dumped. They now hold the power to either be friends or not. And as a stranger on the internet, I give you my advice: don’t try to make them miserable. You’re better than that. Things can’t be forgotten, but they can be forgiven. And you have every right to feel angry and frustrated but just ask yourself if it is worth losing a friendship over something you know deep down wasn’t going to work anyways.

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New Year’s Resolutions- Pftttt.

Because nobody actually takes them seriously. And for those who do, I apologize, but life’s too crazy and realistic sometimes to be able to achieve your goals in that year. For those who were able to achieve them constantly, I applaud you, and ask you to contact me to share your secret.

I don’t think I’ve ever actually had a NYR. Sure I’d list some random things when people ask me but I don’t take it seriously. Why should I? You can’t anticipate what life has in store for you for the next year even if your goals ARE realistic and doable. I believe that you need to face things head on, good or bad. The more you set goals, and the more you’re unable to fulfill them, the more shitty you feel about yourself. This isn’t to say to lower your standards; I’m stating it seems more reasonable to accept the things life throws at you instead of trying to force your way into something life thinks you’re not ready for. I’m all about tolerating and accepting- and while some of you may totally disagree, which is fine, it has definitely helped me with my way of life. Tolerating other people’s quirks, and accepting the fact that some people will never change has minimized the amount of disappointment in my life. Yes to some of you this probably sounds super depressing. I’m here to say otherwise- I would probably be a LOT more depressed if I didn’t do these things. I have learned that tolerance helps control your emotions, and lets you see the reason behind a lot of actions. Accepting is harder. Accepting means you see their point of view as well and share it. And even though you may not act on it, accepting something inside is already one step closer to happiness.

So why make new resolutions every new year? I just have the same ones every year: achieve happiness.