Every love you had in your life- despite having failed in them, will always have a mark in your heart. Especially the ones that were good to you. The ones that were amazing but just wasn’t meant to be. I talked with a friend earlier and he had told me that his ex shouldn’t be allowed to care about him after dumping him. That after what she did to him, all the pain and suffering he felt, it just didn’t feel right for her to ever talk to him again.
As guilty for my past doing, I have dumped a guy not because of him but for another man. But..oh my wretched heart, it’s not like I don’t care about him anymore. I know I have left him and I know that he probably never wants to talk to me ever again but that is him, not me. For me, I still do care- I would like to know what he’s up to nowadays, how he’s doing. That doesn’t mean I’m going backwards no- it’s sort of like having a part of you in someone else and you just always want to be whole again but you can’t. It’s like that. It keeps propelling you towards them to seek them out even after doing what you did, because you did give a part of yourself to them. I don’t know if this is even right- but what is right or what is wrong? Are human emotions wrong?
But the fact that you broke someone’s heart does not mean you are an evil person. Everyone has their reasons- albeit socially acceptable or not. Nobody ever means to hurt someone on purpose,rather, we hurt people because we don’t know what we want, what we’re looking for, who we want to be. And as much as we think we do, we don’t, until the moment you realize you are bound to someone by law and by bathroom routine.