No, really, I don’t mind.

Says no one ever.

God, I swear, I will find all of those selfless people in this world and hug them and be their friend and forever be their slaves. Oh that’s right, no one is like that. Ever. Wait how did I drift off into this..oh right. I’m ranting again. So of course, the boy gets sick literally two days before he comes up to visit me in the land of greyness (I live in Ontario, guess) so I spent this last weekend studying and getting my shit done for school. It was cool. But I’m like retardedly busy for the next…2 weeks and he just really doesn’t want to come up. Oh that’s right…his gym comes before me. Yeah, I get it, he paid for the lessons. But DON’T say you want to come up for a night, then kinda squeal on it. It’s like giving a lollipop to a child then just before he eats it happily you snatch it back and lick it. Kid cries, obviously.

What’s that about the gym? Yeah, he’s big into it and I understand that’s his thing. And yeah, he had a lesson that he paid for that he missed for the first few times? (don’t look at me, none of that was MY doing). And coming up might be “a bit too much” for him…after he literally said “i don’t really mind coming up for a night though” and a “maybe i’ll come up friday evening”. Please. Just don’t. If you really don’t wanna, don’t. Stop doing that. It really SUCKS to hear it. Say what you mean, and mean what you say, please. SERIOUSLY. I gave you an option and it would have been fine if you said you couldn’t right off the bat instead of trying to coat it then give me hope then make it crash down on me. I’m honestly sick of it.

You know, spending a little time with me wouldn’t kill you, would it? Yeah, I totally forgave you for being sick that wasn’t on you. But hey, you’ll be fine by the end of the week. You know what, me missing you a lot just seems wayyy too creepy as your girlfriend. So creepy man. God, why does she miss me so much?! The horrors. None of your other roommates miss theirs– OH RIGHT. one lives with him in the same room, the other sees him every other week while HER boyfriend comes to see her for the other weeks. Yeah, THAT’S effort. HM. WONDER WHY THEY DON’T MISS THEM AS MUCH AS ME. You know, I shouldn’t even be missing you at all. I’ve got my friends (and their boyfriends of course) and I’ve got school. Yeah. I’ve got my varsity team and I’ve got myself. So what’s the difference between being my boyfriend and being my friend.

And I’ve already told you, if i was ALLOWED to go home, I would’ve, in a blink of an eye. But I can’t, okay, so why is it such a struggle for you? I guess I’m really just there for convenience. I should get this whole bad bitch vibe going instead of always being so placid and understanding. I understand too much. I give no room for myself to feel equal in this. I’m always giving and never getting. I don’t get it. If it were me, I would do whatever it took to see him in a heartbeat. I mean, that’s what people do….when they like each other right?

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