This is kind of embarrassing but I actually have weekly newsletters sent to my email from a relationship site that I signed up for couple years ago. I still haven’t unsubscribed and I still get their emails. It’s funny because I still read them; and I totally get what they’re saying. Their most recent one was about why it seems that men get over their failed relationships faster than women and I figured, why not share their wisdom?:
#1: Women are more emotional, men are more practical. Women feel , men think. Women prefer to judge their relationship with their hearts and how happy they feel in the relationship, whether being showered with attention or gifts, while men prefer taking each thing into consideration and seeing how they fit together. Which leads to the second point,
#2: It felt wrong vs. a solid reason. If the guy sees a solid reason why the relationship won’t work, that’s pretty much it. There is no point in trying to fix it because frankly, you can’t fix it. It’s like seeing a big hole in the basement of your 4 storey house- while the beautiful house itself is still functional, some day, sooner or later with time, it will fall, and when it falls, you get crushed with it. This is saying it’s hard to change a person. And everyone knows that. So what about the woman’s feelings, doesn’t she get a say? Well of course- but we women see things with our hearts if that made any sense. Our feelings flip flop- one day we’re confident something won’t happen, the next minute we’re crapping ourselves. That’s why it’s harder for us to get over someone- we keep going back to the ‘other side’ of our feelings and we question ourselves whereas the man takes it and leaves it.
#3: Talking as a solution vs. an actual solution. Just like the email said, talking for women IS the solution. We don’t actually need a tangible solution because “talking itself is therapeutic”. Men on the other hand, wants to see something happen, wants to see something done. He needs an actual solution which leaves him with only 2 options: yes or no.
#4: Communication styles. We’ve all heard this one before; women’s thoughts are dispersed in a very intricate web-like structure while men are…just left, right, up, or down. Men take things at face value generally speaking- and women love to overthink things, generally speaking. So when this happens…we get push and pulls every which way. He’s over you because that’s the way he’s wired to be: it’s either this way, or the other way. Women on the other hand are like: I know I ended it this way but what if it was supposed to be the other way? It becomes tedious, stressful and bluntly, annoying, when you confront an ex, who’s a male, like this.
If you’re suffering from this right now, just don’t take it personally. Everyone wants to protect their own interests; and it doesn’t mean that your man (or lady) didn’t care about you, nor loved you, it just means that they accepted that this is what it is and it is time to move on to find happiness for themselves. Doesn’t everyone deserve that? Things come to an end sometimes, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t real. Every experience you ever had was something to take into consideration and to heart; because these experience make you who you are today.