“can we have a second chance?”
oh, how karma bites you in the ass. but there’s a problem: there is no we.
second chances should be given to everyone. everyone has the right to make a mistake and they should be given a chance to redeem themselves; it’s only natural for one to try to make things right again. who wants to live a life in guilt?
they should be given, but not by you.
if you were on the shit end of the stick in the relationship, you would understand that feeling of longing and the burning desire to take the person back. you want what ended to come back. you want to forget about what had happened and make things back to normal again.
being left in the dust after the ride is not a fun experience. it makes you feel worthless, unloved, and untrusted. it also questions your own ability to find love and trust in other people. how are you supposed to come back from it? do you ever come back from it? the answer is yes. and the ability to do so lies in your mind.
while you were powerless when they decided to leave you, you regain all the power when they want to come back to you.
this may sound cruel and unforgiving, but if they left you in the first place, why give them another chance to let them do so again?
you may say, but we are special. we have something nobody else has. our bond was so strong. we can make it work. i know it. but the truth is that is what is weakening you. this thought drains you of all reasoning, dismisses all the red flags and alarms and arrmagedon warnings, and eventually drags you into an endless loop of disappointment and rage.
have you ever wondered why the person wanted to come back after breaking if off? think about it. they had the choice to stay with you in the relationship because you loved each other (at least liked), or leave you. and they decided to leave you. because something (or someone) else was better for them out there, and their priorities did not lie in you. fair enough- you have no other choice but to let them go. so they pursue that something or someone. time passes. now they’re back.
that means they have failed in seeing your worth in their lives in the first place.
why would you take a person who does not even respect or treasure you? you are your own god. and no human should be able to tell you you are not worth their time, directly or not. they can have their second chance if they want: just from another poor soul who fell for their plea.
do not fall under your own trap of the perfect dream. you have the power to make the best decision for yourself. there is always someone who can see beneath your daily facade and understand your notions. but until then, know that you must do what is best for you. this is life. and when this happens, the only way to come back is to fight and deal with it. get a hobby. spend more time with yourself. write a blog. distract yourself constantly. never wallow in self pity when you could be using the energy to make yourself even better.
it makes your answer that much more satisfying when they beg for you back.